Castoreum – commonly found in the secretions of a beaver's castor glands (located near the animal's genitals), this substance when processed gives your cigarette a sweet odor and smoky flavor.

Yummy. Makes me want to smoke another. In fact, I'm going to take a 5 minute break and go smoke one now…

First and only one of the day. I have been so agitated and angry all day long. While I was at work, I was half tempted to leave and go home. I felt like I was going to burst through my own skin. I feel like I'm in withdrawal, but I have nothing to be in withdrawal from. Freaking me out to say the least. The smallest things were aggravating me. So I went outside and sat in the grass on the side of the building. Clear. Clear. I need to get clear. After about 20 minutes, something worked. I don't know what but I felt a lot better. I don't even know what was putting me in that mood. I have nothing to be stressed out about. Fucking fucked up.

Read on, there is more.

I have really never thought of myself as having an addictive personality. I have never felt compelled to drink alcohol day after day. I'll change that statement. I have never felt it absolutely necessary for me to drink day after day. I've never become that much of an alcoholic where I find it necessary to drink every day when I have other things to be doing. I don't drink and drive in Kent. If I do, it is no more than 3 beers. After that I'd much rather walk. I have never been addicted to any other substance. I have enjoyed other substances such as cigarettes as I please, but I have never been so weak as to not be able to kick the habit. There was a while there that I smoked a pack everyday. I'm over that. I have a pack sitting next to me now. I don't think I'm going to be smoking like I used to. It's probably going to become a leisurely type of thing. But I have found my next addiction… pipe tobacco. I'm buying a pipe this weekend and I'm going to start smoking pipe tobacco. I'm also planning to grow a beard, but thats only going to be after the weather cools down a little. It's probably going to be the last bit of facial hair that I am going to be able to have for a long time.

I'm heading back home this weekend for my fathers birthday. I don't even know how old he is going to be Saturday. I feel bad, but at least I'll be there. We're going to the shooting range which I am looking forward to. Then Wednesday I'm going to Jersey & New York with Budifuco, Marsico, and Mazda. I cannot fucking wait. It's going to be a blast and a half driving my 7 series there with those three dudes. Fucking a-right.

Ohh yeah, I snorted 6 ambien last night. Yeah fucking right. I'd never snort a single one of those god damn things. Ingesting it as you are supposed to seems to do the job just fine. Fucking idiots. It sucks that fucker died. I honestly mean that. But he was a fucking idiot for messing up something grand. That new Batman movie should be good. And I won't shed a single tear when the credits roll. He fucked up. Plain and simple.