I need some fucking pills. I can't wait to take a pill every single night to sleep better. I love pills. Pills pills pills. Yummy yummy in my tummy.

I can't sleep for shit. I've been sleeping for 3 hours or less a night and feeling somewhat okay the next day, but definitely not the way I'm used to waking. This weekend I am going to be seeing my family doctor at home for a whole list of reasons. I'm starting to sound like the people I despise the most. Those who bitch about every little thing. I can't sleep. It's a known fact to me. My stomach kills. I'm pretty sure I've given myself an ulcer. If its not an ulcer, I have a parasite eating away my stomach lining. I'd be okay with either, just as long as the pain goes away. Thats all I want. No more fucking pain.

It's crazy how much I have hated when I hear from people that they need a pill to be okay. I'm not talking a pain pill or any other kind like that, it just seems like many pills are a crutch. Megan's in Italy and before she left, I was on crutches with her. She fucking knocked one of them out of my hands and I haven't been able to walk on my own since. I need to sleep. I don't know any other way to short of drinking Nyquil every night before bed. I'm already and alcoholic and that shits not good to mix with alcohol.

These side effects are not common. However, they have included:

* more outgoing or aggressive behavior than normal * confusion * strange behavior * agitation * hallucinations * worsening of depression * suicidal thoughts

I must admit, I'm looking forward to those side effects. Particularly the different behavior, confusion, and hallucinations. I could do without the others.