I got my liquor cabinet now and as such, I have decided a few drinks after work every night sounds like a plan. And by every night, I mean every night. I have this problem. It may be comparable to having an addictive personality, but it differs because I like to be able to prove to myself that I don't have a problem. That makes a whole lot of sense. Believe me, I know. I'm just trying to rationalize why it is okay for me to destroy my body. Next time I go home, I think I am going to have more blood work done to give Mr. Liver a checkup. It's been a while since I've done that. I mean back in April when I had surgery, they did a checkup, but it wasn't one of those, "Hey, your liver is doing fantastic!" It was more of one of those, "You're all good for surgery. You're all good to be put under. Enjoy!" So yes, that is the fucking plan.

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Since before the time of dinosaurs, I have wanted to live with my cousin. It looks as if that is happening now. It is really nice. It also helps that out house is fucking amazing.

At work when I am working on the computer, I cram my headphones into my ear canal and turn up the music. I usually like to kill all the outside influences. It makes me feel like a better artist. That is a joke. No seriously, it is. But there hasn't been too much art going on. A whole lot of white backgrounds deleted and made transparent. A whole lot of tracing the outlines with a pen.

So a doctor is trying to figure out what is wrong with his patients knee. The doctor says, "you need to quit masturbating." The patient asks, "why?" The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to look at your knee." Nice.

Tell me tell me, is this you? Tell me tell me, is this true? No-no, fuck you. Yes.

Go back to the sick. Go back to the weak. Go back to the nothing. You'll never be so high. You'll never feel the way you did. We both didn't know that was possible. But that is and was. Hopefully you'll be able to find that again because I am doubting everyone else. Hopefully you learned a bit about yourself through me. And that is that. There is something to look forward to in that though. I still get high. And it usually comes and goes. I can make myself high just by thinking about it. I'm high. But for you, I'd like to vomit.

Tonight is probably going to be Absinthe again. Last night I mixed it with root beer. Goes well. I'd like to try mixing it with Red Bull because I think it will be just like a Jager bomb. But honestly, I don't think Red Bull is a good idea after work. I like to unwind and I don't like to be amped.

I text one person on a regular basis. Every now and then I'll throw one out to someone else. But that is every now and then. Look through my phone as I regularly do and it will be saturated with one name. And that is the game. No name. And that is what I am looking forward to. Confession is…

Christ. I have become a marketing drone. I have been focusing on Google Adwords. It seems to be working. It is really funny when you can be #1 on Google for a search. Search for a product brand & product name. We're #1 on many of those. Even before the manufacturer. I guess I am doing something right. And now we get a good 60% of our visits from search engines. Before me, the search engines accounted for less than 10% of the traffic. The site was mainly found by direct requests; that means someone typed the url in directly. Now we're more accessible and Google finds their way around our site much easier. The whole thing makes a lot more sense. It has become more simplistic while still becoming more complicated. The relationships between some of the data gets pretty complicated. But the end result is easier to understand, much easier to update, and way more organized than the previous version of the website could ever dream to be. I fucking love that I replaced someone else who was a fucking computer science major. I'm making a whole lot more money than the other guy. And I'll be making even more here at the end of the week when I ask for another raise. I might not even have to ask for that raise either. The CEO agreed that when the first two websites were finished, I'd deserve another raise. I'm just hoping I don't have to remind him.

I'm making 30k a year now. A base pay of $25 a hour sounds nice real nice as a New Years gift. Shit that will be nice. $1,800 every two weeks, $3,600 or more a month when my rent is only $300 a month? What am I going to do with all that money? I know… save for a rainy day. And buy a 5 series BMW because I have already owned three 3 series. I own one 3 series now and one 7 series. The 5 is all that is missing. But what about a 1 series you ask? Maybe. Haha. I'm probably going to buy a fucking house too.