"I celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing" almost everyday. I'm lucky. I'm here. I'm going to enjoy myself.

I have been listening to Tool non-stop. I honestly listen to it every morning after I am out of the shower and every night before I lay my head down for bed. I can say with certainty that it has changed how I feel throughout the day. And its for the better. I can't wait for them to come out with a new album. Everything we are is based on our consciousness. Everything is an allusion. Happiness is what you make it to be. I'm fine. I'm okay.

I'm enjoying a full time job now. It gives me a purpose. It keeps me busy. I'd be bored out of my mind without it. And I'm making damn good money for what I am doing.

So much of my life seems unreal. I feel like I'm asleep. I feel like I'm going to wake up one day and I will realize I have been asleep all this time. I look back at the things I have done and the people I have been with and it all seems unreal. There is so much that has happened in my life that I don't even remember. So many little details that have been lost. Stories get brought up and I think to myself, "wow, that really happened." I'm ready to wake up. I feel like a zombie sometimes in a dozing dream. I like sleeping a lot. It used to be a huge fan of sleeping and I didn't sleep there for a while. I'm finally able to sleep again now that I am working full time and man have I missed it. I love feeling relaxed and at ease. It's something I haven't felt in a long time and I'm back to it again.