HALVORBARS **

And it'd been so long since I'd been suitably high

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 17:07:00 GMT

I'm so used to "try again" on the tops of Mountain Dew that I don't even bother looking at them anymore. I've had one every day this week at work and today was the first day I realized I haven't been looking at them. I'll bet I probably won earlier this week and didn't even know it. Damn.

I thought Google Adwords would be a one time setup. I figured that once I got it all setup and the ads displaying the way I wanted them to, that would be it. Apparently it is not. I have to login to the account on a daily basis to ensure that we still have a ranking position in the campaign and that we haven't been outbid. This sit is crazy. I didn't realize how much work it would end up being. But I am honestly very happy to have looked into it. I'd say I have been pretty effective at driving new traffic to out site. In less than 20 days, our ads have shown up over 289,000 times. Only 100 clicks or so out of that, but 289,000 impressions is pretty good in my books. I think I might be the only person I know who has any sort of experience in Google Adwords. I'm happy I can add that to resume under the list of many skills I have.

Pineapple Express & Cheers to Zero STD's!!

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:33:00 GMT

You could see me reaching so why couldn't you have met me half way? I don't know how to reach out anymore. Last night I reached out for a shot glass and a bottle of 100 proof Yukon Jack. With that and an Ambien, I had Blackjack 21. I was out before I knew what hit me (it was the floor). And now I am awake and well. Next time I do that I am staying in my room and laying on my bed. No more walking around.

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A Distorted Reality Is Now A Now A Necessity To Be Free

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 16:25:00 GMT

Oh my god. The things I could say and would say but don't want to say. The things others don't know about you and what you are. I'd like to talk to you but I don't want to. You don't deserve to be lonely and that's the only thing that makes it okay for me to be alone. I'll make it through. It would destroy you and it destroys me because I think of you that way. 11:11, but don't make a wish because it isn't coming true because I don't have the things I'd like to. I have everything I need but nothing to want anymore. I don't know why I ever fell for you or even believed in the wishing part. It doesn't do anything other than make you feel more empty and in need of a fill. My stomach is still warm from last night. I got my fill and it was to the tune of whiskey because that is what I like. Whiskey always does me right. There is nothing that I'd like better than a nice neat shot of whiskey and it can be any sort. Hell, even the Canadians make some good of their own with Crown. I am killing myself to live and it doesn't feel wrong yet.

Lucy Lucid

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:01:00 GMT

I have been giving the tryptophan a rest, but last night I decided to take some before bed. Awesome idea, let me tell you… I had some of the most lucid dreams I have had in a very long time. I really didn't like half of them, but jesus did they feel real. I woke up a few times last night confused as hell because I didn't know where I was. If I ever wanted to write a fictional book, I'd surely take a lot of tryptophan and sleep with a pen and paper. I kinda wish I did that last night. I miss that stuff but at the same time, I don't. Some of the dreams I could have done without last night. I would have been better off not having some of them. I really don't know why some of the dreams I had even happened. I don't know where they came from. But it is all cool, beans that is.

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No Rush

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 19:39:00 GMT

So I lied because I am a liar and because this website fucks with your mind and my mind. And that was a bad sentence, but I am allowed to have those whenever I like. But I lied. I haven't had sex since New Years. Almost nine months now. I'm really not at the least bit concerned. Michael at age 18-20 would have been concerned, but this Michael is much different now. Yes, way different. I have had my chances for poon. But that is most definitely not all I am concerned with anymore. Michael even gave up touching himself. Seriously, there are times it feels as if my balls are going to explode. But it's honestly okay. Michael would have probably made fun of his friends for not having touched vagina in nine months. Michael actually would have made fun of them a year ago. But Michael is better than all of that now. Michael lives to work and strives for excellence in everything that deals with his job because for once in his life, he has found something worthwhile. Love breaks your heart. That is all it does. It breaks your heart and thank you for that dearest musical friend, Spoon.

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Suck Me DRY

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:49:00 GMT

It is already Wednesday; christ. I went to the bars last night. I vomited this morning after brushing my teeth a little too aggressively. I felt fine beforehand, but the five seconds before it came up were pretty horrible. After that, I was fine. Felt good. I just had to brush my teeth for a second time. Then I went to work. Haha. Nothing beats a desk job.

I have a pretty solid set of abs now. And by pretty solid, I mean solid. I feel a lot better about myself. I have an incredibly high metabolism that keeps any sign of fat off me. I can eat whenever and whatever I like without feeling any repercussions. I can't seem to get the biceps I'd like, but I'm okay with a set of killer abs. Haha. I am funny. The killer abs are to be unveiled in the near future. For now, they're only solid. A solid definition, not quite a killer definition yet.

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I Need a Five

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:21:43 GMT

I got my liquor cabinet now and as such, I have decided a few drinks after work every night sounds like a plan. And by every night, I mean every night. I have this problem. It may be comparable to having an addictive personality, but it differs because I like to be able to prove to myself that I don't have a problem. That makes a whole lot of sense. Believe me, I know. I'm just trying to rationalize why it is okay for me to destroy my body. Next time I go home, I think I am going to have more blood work done to give Mr. Liver a checkup. It's been a while since I've done that. I mean back in April when I had surgery, they did a checkup, but it wasn't one of those, "Hey, your liver is doing fantastic!" It was more of one of those, "You're all good for surgery. You're all good to be put under. Enjoy!" So yes, that is the fucking plan.

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Everything moves in Circles

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 19:35:00 GMT

Friday after work I had to help my boss take a huge ass tent down and put it back up at his house. I enjoyed a few cold brews and a few more cold brews after we rode to the gas station on a scooter. I felt very secure about my sexuality and it was quite fun holding a case of beer while trying to hold on. God it must have been funny to see the both of us. After helping my boss out, I drove back home to meet up with my father who came to visit for dinner. Maybe I went a little fast on my way back home, maybe I didn't… but I was buzzed. After I got back home, I left with my father in his vehicle to go to dinner. There was a cop sitting at the end of the street waiting for us to leave. My father got pulled over. The cop questioned us because apparently me passing a truck pulling a boat going 10mph, is reckless. And apparently, the guy driving the truck was a off duty cop and apparently he followed me home. Who cares though, it was funny talking to the cop. I didn't answer any of his questions. Nothing happened. It's highly probable that the police are looking out for me now seeing as I already got a written warning for speeding. Who cares.

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Hot Alarm Salsa with a Dash of Google

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 08:00:00 GMT

I've been having a whole lot of trouble waking up in the mornings. I don't know what my problem is. I set like five alarms to wake up and I turn every one of them off and go back to sleep. I woke for work super late today. Great job, Michael.

I have a lot of questions about life. I think I am going to start including at least one in every post I make.

Why is it that I can never find "hot" salsa at the grocery store? I want some fucking "hot" salsa. Medium isn't medium-ly hot. It's fucking cold. I never had a problem finding "hot" salsa when I lived in the dorms and shopped on campus. It was honestly never a problem. Now, I go to Giant Eagle or Acme and they never have "hot" Tostitos or any other decent brand of salsa. I'd like to be able for once, to buy "hot" salsa from a grocery chain.

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Wonderwall

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:48:00 GMT

Love breaks your heart. It really does. Over the weekend, I did a lot of thinking. I throw the word "love" around a lot. My family is pretty open about feelings and we use the word quite often. I mean it with them, that is for sure. But after doing a lot of thinking, I realized some pretty fucked up things about my life.

I've had three girlfriends since I have been in college. The first one really changed my mind about girls. I hung out with her almost non-stop at the end of Freshman year. I really honestly didn't love her. I had a lot of fun spending time with her, but I most definitely did not love her. My second girlfriend happened sophomore year. I was with her for a good five months or so. I enjoyed spending time with her. However, things were different with her. All I did with her was get fucked up and fuck. That was pretty much it. I enjoyed the time I spent with her, but there were times I needed to have to myself. That is how I knew things were different. And with her, I had a near death experience. The closeness I felt with her had a lot to do with the accident. My father told me not to let that event influence how I felt about her. I didn't take his advice too well. Needless to say, at the time, I thought I was in love with her. I most definitely was not looking back on things now. She was something good for the time. I did miss her sometime after we broke up, but I didn't actually love her. Most of the feelings I had towards her all stemmed from the car accident. And man that was fucked up.

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